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If he or she knows most, if not all, of your strengths and weakness, and use them against you, you may face yourself always losing in any quarrel. It’s like they have a “You” controller on their hands, and they know which buttons to push to elicit what actions from you. The more “evil” ones purposely embarrass you in public or when you are in company of your friends, giving you no respect. Seriously, being a victim and staying as one will not solve anything. Things does not get better when you keep quiet. If this sound like you, its high time to voice out.

Analyze everything that is said. Are those true or false? Are the facts being exaggerated? Are some things being left unsaid? Know whether you really did make a mistake on your part. Once you find the answers to that, start taking action. If it is positive that they are right, think of a solution to that problem. If it is not your fault,it is time to stop the nonsense.

Understand that no one can insult your confidence and self-respect if you did not allow them to. It is absolutely something you can control. If you are always at the mercy of someone’s else rage, it certainly is no healthy relationship. You have to show you are displeased with him/her. Donald Trump said: “If someone screws with you, screw them back fifteen fold.” Well, you do not have to really screw them back, but just do not keep being on the defensive.

In a relationship where you are always subject to verbal abuse, you are being “owned”. In a healthy dating relationship, there must be love and respect for each other. In a relationship without those crucial elements, the relationship will not grow. You will be better off finding someone else worthy of your love. There are people who love you but are fond of engaging in such verbal abuse. In such a difficult case, tell them gently but firmly that they need to do some self-reflection or else a break-up will be inevitable.

You still recall the first time you and your significant other argued. It wasn’t really over anything important. You didn’t think so then and you still don’t. That’s not how the other person took it. It wasn’t that they felt they had to win the argument but to win, it was necessary to humiliate you.

You raised this point to them after things had cooled down but they dismissed it by saying it was no big deal (didn’t seem that way at the time) or that you were wrong so they had to set you straight.

You let it go and figured it was just one of those things. Regrettably it was one of those things; one of those things that kept happening over and over again with alarming frequency and a lot more intensity. Every time you would point this out you got the same excuses mixed in with a lot of defensiveness.

They also added a new wrinkle into the equation. It’s always your fault. They’re so good at the power of manipulation and words that at times you believe them. The problem is as of late you’ve started to believe them more and more.

Empires have been built using words and psychological manipulation. Using them in a relationship which is depended on direct one on one contact can be a powerful and overwhelming force which can be difficult if not impossible to stand up to particularly when it becomes entrenched in the relationship.

It gets worse when you realize the other person knows you. Your likes and dislikes, dreams, hopes and fears are there for your significant other to examine like they were doing a case study. Verbal abusers like to make you feel bad and knowing how you tick is a perfect way to accomplish it.

But relationships are not supposed to be about a CEO chewing out an employee. It’s a give and take that demands both people respect each other. That means understanding that no one can be right about everything all the time. At given times in any dating relationship mistakes are going to be made and each of you will have to apologize for something at some point.

If you have mentioned this to the other person and they still do not understand where you are coming from or refuse even do a little self assessment then you may want to give serious thought to the future of the relationship before another day goes by.

If you like the person and want to continue than you better develop a thick skin and the ability to tune them out when they get ramped up. Yes time and you may be able to change them but how much are you willing to take before that happens?

Just remember know one deserves to constantly be belittled. You are not a project that needs improving, you are someone that brings an equal amount of good things to this or any relationship. If they can’t see that then quitting the “company” may not be such a bad idea.

“Can’t you do anything right” You’ve heard that in some form or another more than once from your significant other. Whether it’s going out on a date, doing a simple household chore or a non serious conversation you seem to always be on the defensive with the other person. That kind of constant bombardment can set your nerves on edge and get you to start doubting yourself.

And your significant other knows it. They have seen your strengths and weaknesses and kept mental notes as so they know exactly which buttons to push and when.

Then they take it to a new level. They not only berate you when they are with friends and families but every now and then they humiliate you in public. You didn’t do this that or the other thing so now you’ve ruined the occasion. When the two of you get home they really unload on you.

Just about now there should be some righteous outrage on your part. Instead you internalize everything they have said. Maybe they are right and it is all your fault. You were supposed to take care of the situation. Did you do it right or not enough or too much? Once your significant other sees that doubt is in the air then they step up the attack. The next phase is about turning those doubts into cold hard reality. The verbal abuse now comes fast and furious. Anything that happens no matter how trivial or insignificant becomes an excuse to make you feel worse than you do and also set in stone that from now on all the blame falls squarely on your shoulders.

But there is something more sinister afoot. In essence they have for all intent and purposes taken control of the relationship.

Yet it is important to keep in mind that arguably none of this would have been possible if it didn’t receive your cooperation. If a dating relationship is going to grow than it is crucial that both parties love or at least respect each other. Verbal abuse is neither. It’s emotional, physical and mental control disguised as caring. It benefits no one except the person who is practicing it but it also requires a certain amount of acceptance from the receiving party.

The problem is in the short and long run it is absolutely corrosive to a dating relationship. They miss the joy of having someone that cares about them contribute equally to make the relationship better. They also lose out on the uniqueness that is you. What you have no one else can bring to the table. By trying to exercise total control over you, they are in essence trying to make you into exactly what they want you to be. That is blatant disrespect.

Unfortunately it becomes a vicious circle. You can never be one hundred percent what they want you to be. They know it and deep down you know it so they heap more verbal abuse on you with the clear understanding that it will always be this way.

Some people like to argue. That’s a part of who they are but when they become verbally abusive in a dating relationship then you have to take a stand. Either they tone it down and work on their behavior or they will have to find someone else to try and control.