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Scared of dating? Wishing that dating relationships weren’t so awkward, so unpredictable? Well, here’s some dating advice, three dating tips actually, to help you enjoy dating, rather than cringe and run the other way.

1) First – Dating is not a contest. You cannot win. And you can never lose. And there’s no need to be scared of rejection. Why? Because either you both like each other and decide to see each other again, or one or both of you prefers to not go forward. And a preference for something else does not equal rejection. In fact, it is a success to know that there will be no possible future with the person so you can clear the slate and go forward to find someone with whom you DO experience mutual dating romance!

2) Second – Smart dating, in other words successful dating, is not a theatrical play. Smart dating is all about showing up as who you really are and finding out who the other person really is. Any pretense or play-acting just ensures that you’ll feel anxious because you’ve already decided that who you really are isn’t good enough.

3) Third – Dating romance, the kind that can last a lifetime, is grown through getting to know each other. Instant chemistry, that sudden spontaneous thrill that we often read about in romance books or see in romantic movies, has no solid foundation and can dissolve overnight as easily as it took you over.

So, the key to smart dating is to show up as who you really are and actually get to know the other person. At the same time, you’ll be finding out if dating romance – the day-to-day real romance you want – is actually developing.

Usually, when you first start a new dating relationship, you want it to last for a long time. Maybe even through marriage and beyond if things work out. Keeping things exciting and fun both inside and outside of the bedroom can really help your chances. When you start a new dating relationship, everything is exciting. You go on dates all the time and are completely infatuated with each other. The beginning of a relationship is the easy part. Making something last takes effort if you do not want your relationship to become stale and boring. New relationships are great, but when you have been with someone a long time it is even better.

The first step to making a relationship last is knowing and understanding your partner. Asking yourself questions like, Do you want to have kids? Are you waiting until marriage to have sex? Are you religious? Do you want to get married? Where do you want to live? Can all help you get a better understanding of yourself and your partner. You will be able to realize what you can sacrifice and what you cannot. If neither of you will budge on a topic, then a solution must be figured out. It is better to do these things now than later.

Thousands of things must be thought about if you want to make a relationship last. Michael Webb has a relationship Book collection that is filled with many different titles that can give you the tools you need to make a relationship last. As a highly regarded expert when it comes to relationships, these books can teach you what to do and what you should avoid when you start a new relationship. This will help you give your relationship the best possible chance of succeeding into old age.

Timothy Keller was born and raised in Pennsylvania, and educated at Bucknell University, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and Westminister Theological Seminary. He is pastor of the Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan, which he started in 1989 with his wife, Kathy, and three young sons. Today Redeemer has nearly six thousand regular attendees at five services, a host of daughter churches, and is planting churches in large cities throughout the world This is a free download from Redeemer.com

When it comes to dating, some people just can’t seem to get it right. Perhaps you would meet someone new and date them for a short while, but eventually your relationship wouldn’t last long. There are a ton of reasons why this is true, and this article will discuss a few of these reasons.

In this article, you will learn some of the most common reasons dating relationships fail and what you can do to salvage yours. Let’s take a look at reason number 1.

1) Rushing

Rushing things in a relationship is a sure way to see it fail immediately. You always want to take your time, take things slow, and let things slowly evolve into something special. A lot of arguments are created by people who can’t get the things that they want because they’re trying to rush it. Your best bet is to take things slow and be more patient with your sweetheart. Let’s take a look at reason number 2.

2) Not accepting your partner

You have to accept your partner for who she is. If she doesn’t look like a supermodel or doesn’t have the physical features that you are looking for, then you will have to learn how to live with that. You can’t get upset that your girlfriend for being who she is – that’s the same as being mad with yourself for picking her. If you can’t accept her for who she is, then now is the time to start doing so.

To change, start seeing all the good in your woman. Don’t focus on the “bad” things – look at all of her qualities and take a look at the way that she treats you. Sometimes we can’t have it all in life – but that’s okay because maybe you can feel sufficient with the love that you have now. Let’s take a look at reason number 3.

3) Not being committed

Are you committed to your woman? Is she committed to you? These are questions that you should be asking yourself about your relationship. If you can’t commit to your woman, then it will eventually show in the form of infidelity. Infidelity is a leading cause of breakups, and it can be prevented if you can learn to love your woman for who she is.

To start being more committed to your woman, you have to let go of all of the things that hindering you from feeling this way towards your girlfriend. Relationships with “lady friends” that you may have need to be minimized so that you can focus more of your attention to your girlfriend. Being committed is a big thing, and is something that can save your relationship if you can learn how to do it faster.

Don’t let your relationship fail because of one of the reasons listed in this article. Figure out ways that you can change and become a better person so that you can salvage your relationship while you still have it. Good luck with becoming a better man and keeping your relationship together.

Before you get into a serious dating relationship, you need to consider the family members of the one you are dating. If abuse has been the “norm” in someone’s life and their family members abuse verbally, emotionally, and physically, you must remember that abuse often is a learned behavior. Unfortunately, it is a very difficult learned behavior to unlearn.

Recently, a school intervention counselor was telling me about a teen aged boy she had been talking with who had showed her at least a dozen bruises fist sized on his arms and upper torso. Let’s call him Trey. They told her that he really loved Liz but Liz was always hollering at him and literally hitting on him. Mrs. Smith, the high school counselor knew the young lady in question better than she cared to know her. Trey was not her first boyfriend nor the first that she had assaulted with her fists and her mouth. Mrs. Smith had also encountered Liz’s mother and grandmother. Both had been verbally abrasive and insulting, and both had slapped Liz in the past.

Apparently, all three lived in the same household. And loud, angry voices and hitting and slapping were a way of live and very much learned behavior in that family, passed down from mother to child to grandchild.

Mrs. Smith wisely advised Trey that because Liz had already abused him, she would continue to do so in the future until she got the help she needed to “unlearn” that learned behavior. The truth is if Liz does not “unlearn” and rightly learn how to communicate, she no doubt with pass it down to her children and grandchildren.

Consider this true story. A young groom watched his new bride cut the end off of a ham and put it in a separate pot to cook. “Honey, why did you do that?” Her answer – “I don’t know, that’s the way my mother always did it.” He was very curious and called his new mother-in-law and asked her the same question. He was even more puzzled by her answer which was exactly what his wife told him. Determined to get to the bottom of the story, he called his new grandmother-in-law and asked her the questions. She broke out laughing and asked “Are the girls still doing that? I did it because I didn’t have a pan big enough to put it in.”

While you may chuckle at that story, always remember that the family members do influence the person you are dating, either positively or negatively. And it may be a disaster for you if it is something way more serious than cutting the ham into two parts to fit in the pans. Last time I talked with Mrs. Smith, Trey was wearing a sling and a cast in school colors – his broken bone was a little gift from Liz.