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How and where to meet a potential partner, has always been a challenge. The reason why it is can be a challenge is because we do not want to think of ourselves as calculating, we want it all to happen naturally and romantically. The reality is that we do not always get the ideal situation presented to us. That is why speed dating was developed to satisfy the demands of individuals who live life at such a pace that the traditional method of finding an ideal partner just wasn’t delivering for them. Here are some useful dating relationship advice and insights to help you on your date:

Let your personality and warmth shine through. To achieve this you need to be relaxed so make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to get to the venue of the speed dating event. If you arrive late and are hot and bothered, you will not be in the right frame of mind. Being yourself is so important because if you try take on another person’s persona, eventually you will falter and your true self will reveal itself. That may or may not be a pleasant surprise for your partner!

Be self-assured by be careful not to appear arrogant. Make good eye contact at all times without constantly staring to the extent that the other person becomes uncomfortable. And another thing; it is said that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul so smile with your eyes; you will be surprised what a difference that makes. If you do this and totally focus on the person in a relaxed and personable manner, you will make a favourable impression.

Hopefully you would have already worked out definite objectives that you want to achieve at this dating event. If that is the case, you should also have a plan as to how those objectives will be achieved. This is not about being calculating but about making the best use of the available time. So do your research and ask questions that are important to you, covering the points that you want covered. In other words, try and achieve your objectives.

Go with your intuition. It is a very important and neglected part of ourselves that often point us in the right direction. So go with it, let it guide you but never ignore it. It’s good practice to think long term. Ask yourself the question,’ is this someone I would want to end up living with?’ Believe me, if you start to go out with the wrong person, there is a probability that you will end up with that person. Only your intuition can guide you in these early stages.

Remember that I mentioned that eye contact was important? Of equal importance are other aspects of body language. So look for the other person’s body language. What is it telling you? At least 80% of our communication is through body language and not the spoken word. You do not have to be a body language expert to pick up some important cues. At a basic level, you will notice the person’s behaviour, eye contact and body movements and you will be processing that information. What is it telling you? What is your intuition telling you? Go with those two, your experience and your intuition and you will not be getting it more or less right. Remember that the other person may also be reading your body language. It works both ways!

Are you one of the people in the world that believe in soul mates? Do you feel as if you have met “The ONE?” Have you experienced the all too familiar butterflies in your stomach when you are around that special someone, and struggle to concentrate on anything besides time spent with them? If this describes you, my guess is, you may be considering marriage.

For those of you that are so caught up with the love bug that you are considering marriage, you may want to consider a couple of points before taking that stroll down the aisle. There are several things to think about when making a decision to tie the knot (besides the butterflies you experience).

When we are in love, we tend to function as someone that is intoxicated. That is, we don’t always make our best decisions while in the intense romantic phase of a relationship. When I say we are intoxicated, I mean that in a literal sense. Being in love actually causes our bodies to produce hormones that have the same affects as some drugs have on us. Phenylethylamine (PEA) is a hormone produced in the brain during the early stages of love. It gives off a dose of Dopamine, which makes you feel high when you experience falling in love. I said all this just to say, decisions about marriage should probably be made when you are a little more stable in your thinking and have dated long enough to be annoyed by one another.

The stage where PEA is most dominate, usually lasts anywhere from two weeks to two years. This is why it is important (in my opinion) to spend time focusing on getting to know your love interest instead of going to the movies and, well, making out. I often encourage couples to have a list of characteristics they want in a mate and establish which ones are must haves. Now obviously no one will find someone that meets all of their criteria. I am not encouraging a list that consists of million dollar incomes and fast cars. However, I do think people should identify areas such as spiritual beliefs, and the number of children you would like to have. Does he/she have the ability to establish a stable household according to their current lifestyle? What are their basic life values? What is their basic view about marriage and family? What are their short and long term goals?

These questions are very important aspects of living a productive life with someone else. Unfortunately, love and lust doesn’t always lend us a hand in getting all the facts about a possible mate. Often times we are more concerned about how great they look in a pair of jeans, and how expensive the meal was that they provided on the last date. I often tell marriage hopefuls to attempt to date at least a year before making the announcement of an engagement. The word dating comes from the Latin word data. The definition of data is- Factual information, especially information organized for analysis or used to reason or make decisions (American Heritage Dictionary). Your dating relationship should be just that, a time to collect information about a possible mate.

I also want to stress that I am not saying that you need to wait for someone who is flawless and perfect because you will be waiting a life time. Keep in mind that no one is perfect and we are all a work in progress. However, you should have an idea of what you truly desire in a mate and search for someone that comes close to your list. It is also important to understand that you should work at living according to the standard that you set for others. If you make it a priority for your mate to be clean and organized, you may want to make sure you have that quality yourself. Despite what people say, opposites usually do not attract. We tend to gravitate towards people that are like us or people that we want to be like.

So the next time you plan a hot exciting date, remember to take note of the more important aspects of dating. Love is very exciting and weddings are great to attend, but no one enjoys a disconnected relationship or a broken up family. Try to establish time to date according to the true definition of dating and make love last.

It’s been known in many circles to be the ultimate icebreaker. Two people meet on a date. They both are a little nervous and seem to struggle for some conversation. Then the drinks arrive. Both parties relax, let their hair down and before you know it, they are off and running. The date turns out to be an exceptional one.

Alcohol has been an integral part of the social scene longer than any of us can remember. People want to have a good time when they go out and drinking has contributed to some of that fun.

No doubt of course you are all too familiar with the other end of the spectrum. One drink for some people leads to a never ending stream. That’s not to say you would be at the extreme limit but even if things do not go that far you have to give careful consideration to how it will look to your date.

1. Limit

If you do like to drink then think about limiting your consumption to one. It’s easy for the initial taste of alcohol to get you in the mood for another one and another one etc. You may be able to handle ten martinis and still function to one hundred percent capacity when it comes to walking and talking but think about the look on your date’s face when the waiter keeps bringing them to you.

2. Control

When you are used to alcohol it’s easy to believe you are in control of yourself and the situation. Beer or whatever your drink has never caused you to slur your speech or walk funny. The problem is that is from your perspective. Needless to say what your date sees will probably be something slightly different. You review the date the next day and come to the conclusion you were the epitome of decorum. Your date says you were okay until you got loud and obnoxious. Don’t remember that part? Alcohol no matter how much we believe we can handle it has a way of fuzzing our viewpoint.

3. Pre Date Drinking

Nothing screams lack of control to your date than feeling like you’ve got to get a buzz on before you actually go out. Even if your date drinks, smelling alcohol on your breath or detecting its after effect on you can be a real turn off. They probably figure by the time the date ends you are going to be under the table.

4. When in Rome

You like your dating partner but they do not drink. They say they do not mind if you do have a couple. See if you can go without. Enjoying their company with nothing but water tells them you are making a serious effort to please them. It also says you can enjoy your date without any artificial stimulant to help you along.

5. Travel

Your blood alcohol count may be below the legal limit but don’t take a chance. Impaired means just that. Don’t scare your date by getting behind the wheel. Let them drive, call a cab or if neither of you live that far walk. The air will do you good and your date will appreciate the fact that you are not going to take a chance with their safety or yours.

Getting together and having a couple of drinks with your date is just part of the dating scene but there is a fine line. If you can do without it this time around than go for it, limit your intake to below what you normally would. Being social is one thing, giving your date the impression you have a problem is another.

You still recall the first time you and your significant other argued. It wasn’t really over anything important. You didn’t think so then and you still don’t. That’s not how the other person took it. It wasn’t that they felt they had to win the argument but to win, it was necessary to humiliate you.

You raised this point to them after things had cooled down but they dismissed it by saying it was no big deal (didn’t seem that way at the time) or that you were wrong so they had to set you straight.

You let it go and figured it was just one of those things. Regrettably it was one of those things; one of those things that kept happening over and over again with alarming frequency and a lot more intensity. Every time you would point this out you got the same excuses mixed in with a lot of defensiveness.

They also added a new wrinkle into the equation. It’s always your fault. They’re so good at the power of manipulation and words that at times you believe them. The problem is as of late you’ve started to believe them more and more.

Empires have been built using words and psychological manipulation. Using them in a relationship which is depended on direct one on one contact can be a powerful and overwhelming force which can be difficult if not impossible to stand up to particularly when it becomes entrenched in the relationship.

It gets worse when you realize the other person knows you. Your likes and dislikes, dreams, hopes and fears are there for your significant other to examine like they were doing a case study. Verbal abusers like to make you feel bad and knowing how you tick is a perfect way to accomplish it.

But relationships are not supposed to be about a CEO chewing out an employee. It’s a give and take that demands both people respect each other. That means understanding that no one can be right about everything all the time. At given times in any dating relationship mistakes are going to be made and each of you will have to apologize for something at some point.

If you have mentioned this to the other person and they still do not understand where you are coming from or refuse even do a little self assessment then you may want to give serious thought to the future of the relationship before another day goes by.

If you like the person and want to continue than you better develop a thick skin and the ability to tune them out when they get ramped up. Yes time and you may be able to change them but how much are you willing to take before that happens?

Just remember know one deserves to constantly be belittled. You are not a project that needs improving, you are someone that brings an equal amount of good things to this or any relationship. If they can’t see that then quitting the “company” may not be such a bad idea.

When you are at a point in your life where you are tired of just dating casually and you really just want to settle down with someone you can spend the rest of your life with, it can be a really hard task to find that person. There is no dating relationship advice that anybody could give you that would lay out a plan for finding Mr or Mrs Right easily, but I can give you some dating relationship advice to help streamline your search and make it easier on you.

Before you even start looking, you need to know what you want. This is one of the biggest issues with finding a partner for most people. If you don’t know what you are looking for, you are never going to find it right? So what you will need to do is think about your life and what type of person you want to fit into it. It is often helpful to make a list of the traits you are looking for in another person.

The next step is to get yourself out there to start looking! When you are looking for something specific, I find that it helps if you search online. Everyone on an online dating site will have a profile that you can look at, which you can then compare with the list you made of what you want. When you find somebody that is a close match, send them a message and let the connecting begin!

When you follow this dating relationship advice, you will find it much easier to find the person of your dreams. When you are tired of dating random people and really want to settle down with the man or woman of your dream, creating a list and knowing what you want before you start looking can make all the difference.

“Can’t you do anything right” You’ve heard that in some form or another more than once from your significant other. Whether it’s going out on a date, doing a simple household chore or a non serious conversation you seem to always be on the defensive with the other person. That kind of constant bombardment can set your nerves on edge and get you to start doubting yourself.

And your significant other knows it. They have seen your strengths and weaknesses and kept mental notes as so they know exactly which buttons to push and when.

Then they take it to a new level. They not only berate you when they are with friends and families but every now and then they humiliate you in public. You didn’t do this that or the other thing so now you’ve ruined the occasion. When the two of you get home they really unload on you.

Just about now there should be some righteous outrage on your part. Instead you internalize everything they have said. Maybe they are right and it is all your fault. You were supposed to take care of the situation. Did you do it right or not enough or too much? Once your significant other sees that doubt is in the air then they step up the attack. The next phase is about turning those doubts into cold hard reality. The verbal abuse now comes fast and furious. Anything that happens no matter how trivial or insignificant becomes an excuse to make you feel worse than you do and also set in stone that from now on all the blame falls squarely on your shoulders.

But there is something more sinister afoot. In essence they have for all intent and purposes taken control of the relationship.

Yet it is important to keep in mind that arguably none of this would have been possible if it didn’t receive your cooperation. If a dating relationship is going to grow than it is crucial that both parties love or at least respect each other. Verbal abuse is neither. It’s emotional, physical and mental control disguised as caring. It benefits no one except the person who is practicing it but it also requires a certain amount of acceptance from the receiving party.

The problem is in the short and long run it is absolutely corrosive to a dating relationship. They miss the joy of having someone that cares about them contribute equally to make the relationship better. They also lose out on the uniqueness that is you. What you have no one else can bring to the table. By trying to exercise total control over you, they are in essence trying to make you into exactly what they want you to be. That is blatant disrespect.

Unfortunately it becomes a vicious circle. You can never be one hundred percent what they want you to be. They know it and deep down you know it so they heap more verbal abuse on you with the clear understanding that it will always be this way.

Some people like to argue. That’s a part of who they are but when they become verbally abusive in a dating relationship then you have to take a stand. Either they tone it down and work on their behavior or they will have to find someone else to try and control.